work and marriage: synonym

Has anyone ever told you that marriage is work? As in genuine talk-it-out-when-you-don't-feel-like-it, choose-finding-a-resolution-over-a-decent-amount-of-sleep, sometimes-tears-aren't-bad, hard, but totally-worth-it work.

Well, if you're not married, I'd like to tell you -- it's work.

Unlike housekeeping (er... maybe exactly like housekeeping) or a traditional clock-in/clock-out job, the work is continual. Also unlike a traditional job the rewards of said work can be very frequent and life-affecting. Sometimes they aren't bi-weekly -- sometimes they're daily. Sometimes they're monthly. Still, sometimes they're even hourly.

I want to be willing to put in the work. I want to actually be willing to put some of myself on the line -- my time, my energy, my money, my attention -- for something greater. In our "liberated" society, nothing difficult stays on the table. It's hastily cast aside to be replaced by another thing -- perhaps something which yields those happy feelings and excitements that come with something new.

I don't want something new. I want something real. Something that maybe has been fixed over and over like that old microwave you were given as a wedding gift. The one you keep putting in the garage and replacing, only to bring it back in, fix it, and put it back to use when the cheapy, new one you picked up stops working for no reason at all. Perhaps it's because that "old" microwave (which you've perhaps referred to in such terms as "piece of junk," "old thing," "worn out," "outdated," etc.) was a real piece of quality equipment. Sure, it might not be shiny on the outside anymore, but that may be because you stopped cleaning it. Or maybe the turntable is cracked because you put it in the dishwasher when it clearly says "hand wash only."

A twisted parallel to marriage? Perhaps. But maybe not. It seems to me that sometimes the things we should handle with the most care and careful maintainance are hastily thrown into the dishwasher instead of being given the time and attention they deserve. Given a band-aid instead of real medical attention then carelessly broken or maimed over and over again.

I hope I can maintain the "old." Because I have no desire to continually search for the new. New does not always = better. Sometimes old = best.

I don't wanna spend my whole life askin'

what if I had given everything

instead of going through the motions

The Motions - Matthew West